[FOSDEM] It's time for a Code of Conduct

[Daniel Pocock]

On 30/10/15 14:10, Andreia Gaita wrote:
> 
> On Fri, Oct 30, 2015 at 1:47 PM, Daniel Pocock <daniel at pocock.pro
> <mailto:daniel at pocock.pro>> wrote:
> 
> 
>     On 30/10/15 13:06, Andreia Gaita wrote:
>     > This is not a question of "Why". It's a question of "When". If you're
>     > asking why, especially in shocked, appaled or sarcastic tones, you
>     > seriously should take it upon yourselves to rethink your attitude
>     > towards other people and maybe realize that being an unempathetic
>     > asshole might work well when you're chugging beers with your
>     mates, but
>     > doesn't really help towards making the tech environment a place where
>     > everybody can feel safe and supported.
>     >
>     > You want to know why a code of conduct is needed? Because of you,
>     that's
>     > why.
> 
>     You have written about people being unempathetic but I feel this
>     conclusion fails to show empathy with the people you are trying to
>     convince.  You literally conclude with an "us-and-them" posture.
> 
> 
> Why would I be empathetic towards people that are being sarcastic and
> dismissive of something that has been clearly shown to be important
> through countless examples and conversations over the years? Why am I
> the one required to be empathetic towards people who apparently don't
> think that this is important because it doesn't happen to them?
> 

Because you obviously care about this and that is the effort that
leaders sometimes have to make when they want to change something.

Also, because it will show how you would negotiate with people in a
real-life conflict situation, listening to both sides and gaining their
trust, no matter how you feel about it personally.

At no point was I trying to defend any of the more ridiculous things
that have been said in this discussion.  It is not about showing empathy
with such comments but looking behind them to try and work out how to
reach the people who made them.

Regards,

Daniel